Microsoft End User License Agreement

By touching any computer ever made, you agree to the terms of this agreement...

Microsoft shall have the rights to your first born child. This child shal be called Bill or Billina. Said child shall be assigned an activation code, which must be used prior to this child playing outside...

User furthermore agrees to sing praises to Microsoft every morning upon waking and each evening before retiring... Simply raise your hands in the air and repeat aloud, 'All hail Microsoft!'